City Limits

Okla. attorney leaps from hospital ledge
One lawyer... oh well, at least it's a start

Sixty-beer binge leads to four-week hangover
And the worst case of the shits in recorded history

Handcuffed Mexican kids steal U.S. border agent car
So THAT'S why they put those tiny steering wheels on their cars

Store Clerk Claims Robbers Hypnotized Him
And he's quit smoking, too

Air rage smoker jailed for attack
You are now free to roam the cell block

Boy, 16, taking shortcut to school, killed by train
Obviously not a Physics major

Drugs and guns found inside L.A. Daycare
Must've been a rap school

'Fart Spray' Attack at Local Restaurant
Ironically, the food also tasted like shit