City Limits

Looking for a job? I am! So if you know anyone who could use a hard-working, industrious individual... sorry, got carried away.

Anyway, if you are scanning the want ads, you might be wondering what they're really looking for, so maybe this will help you in your search.

Join our fast-paced company
We have no time to train you

Must be deadline-oriented
You'll be six months behind on your first day

Duties will vary
Anyone in the office can boss you around

Problem solving skills a must
You're walking into perpetual chaos

Must have an eye for detail
We have no quality control

Some overtime required
Some time every night and weekend

Word processing skills essential
There's a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your future

Salary range $24k - $32k / Yr
The salary is $24,000

Civil service
This job was filled from the inside six months ago

Must have top notch communications skills
Welcome to the world of telemarketing

Outstanding benefits package
We have health insurance and a 401k with no matching funds

Progressive company
Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday

We are seeking dedicated people
You'll be working a minimum of 80 hours a week until we force you into early retirement

Tons of variety
We've taken every heinous task no one else will touch and rolled them into this position

Good luck, and happy hunting!